Sometimes going through a terrible time is God’s reminder of just how much He was there with us and protecting us all along. A friend told me once that God does want me to be alone. He does want me with no where else to turn, so that the only place left I have to turn is to Him. That day, I started praying to God as if I was the errant child He must think of me. Lost and turning in all the wrong directions and asking the wrong people all the wrong questions. When I finally lifted my head to the Heavens, closed my eyes and asked God all of the questions and gave Him all of my worries did He start showing me just how much He has been with me.
A few days ago He showed me again just how wonderful a person I am. A young woman I had the pleasure to work with and know got in touch with my husband. She said she had been back in town for three months and everyday she was reminded of me. Reminded of all I was to her. When I first heard that she was contacting Brian I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything to do with her. She had offended my husband and I, of course, defended him. It, she, had left a bad taste in my mouth. So when Brian asked me if she could come over and see us and that she loved and missed me I didn’t answer him right away. After several minutes of quiet contemplation I heard a whisper that surely God would want me to forgive her and ask for her forgiveness in turn. Would I want Him to judge me the same? With a determined but cautious demeanor I consented.
Later that evening when she came in our front door she started running and talking loudly. This is what she said:
“Oh my God, I love you and miss you so much. There aren’t many people I would ever say I looked up to, but you were one of them! I just miss you so much. I’ve kept a prayer you wrote down on a piece of notebook paper when we worked together with me everywhere I go…. I’ve never had it out of my presence! As God is my witness He is good and you told me about it Him and I never gave it a thought, but He has showed me and if I never get another chance to see you I want you to know how much I looked up to you! How much I admire you. I just love you so much!!!”
All through her tears and her squeezing my neck with such fierce force to express just how much she meant her words. Right there in her arms God was hugging me. It was God’s words she was saying to me. It was her words she was saying to me. In those moments God was proving to me and I was filled with the greatest love I had ever known. My God loved me as I loved Him. This was just another sign He was showing me that He would never and had never forsaken me. I have walked His path He set for me and at the most pivotal moment too.
Isn’t God’s love and His plan perfect? To know what we need and when we need it? All I had to do was give in to His grace. Stop asking the wrong people the wrong questions. All I had to do was ask God to take all the negative out of me; my fears, my pain, my loss, my anxiety, my worry and the most amazing blessings have been coming to me one after another after another!
God is Great! So go ahead and stand over there in your disbelief… but He will show you everyday that He is very real indeed! If you doubt me…. give yourself over to Him and He will show you what He has shown me. I am but His servant. I live my life for Him and my love is for Him and Oh how He loves me!
If anyone is curious about the prayer I wrote down for her because she had never heard it before and didn’t know it. This is the prayer I wrote down on that fated notebook paper for her:
“Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen”